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The List of 7, Mark Frost
Nov. 21st, 2012 12:01 amYou've seen this before if you read my twitter feed, but here is the cover of this book. And here is the inside cover.
You see that monster in the middle? Pretty neat, right?
It is hard to see in the scan, but there is a dude inside the monster, implying that the dude turns into the cool monster himself.
So I read the whole damn book. There are mummies in it, and zombies, and dudes with their eyes and mouths sewn shut. There are guys in hats with guns and lanterns. Pretty sure there are no police running around on trains, no note that says "THE GAME'S AFOOT," and--most importantly--no fucking monster like that at all.
I maintain that this is false advertising, designed to get me to keep reading this shitty novel in hopes that said monster would arrive and rip the shit out of everybody.
And rest assured, this novel is pretty shitty. It is not only ponderous but ridiculous. I'm not sure what Frost was trying to accomplish, but he does not have the skill to pull it off.
Okay, so Arthur Conan Doyle is just chilling in his rooms, having exposition spun about him. LOTS of exposition. Then a mysterious note arrives and Doyle goes to seance where he observes a woman being murdered and is nearly murdered himself. Doyle is rescued by a man who gives a false name.
Much mysterious shit and murder and being chased by mysterious somethings later, Doyle meets up again with his mysterious friend, who works for the Queen and is known as Jack Sparks. Mister Sparks is after the people who have been trying to kill Doyle. It seems a story Doyle sent off for publication mirrors their actual plans, and the group of nasties think he is onto them.
Sparks and Doyle have a few more harrowing adventures and we learn that the main guy in charge of all of this is a man pretty much Sparks' equal, but evil. This nemesis's origin story is like every evil thing before the holocaust, and of course the two men are brothers.
Okay, and if that isn't enough, later on they meet up with Bram Stoker.
Oh, and the fucking epilogue pisses me right off.
You see that monster in the middle? Pretty neat, right?
It is hard to see in the scan, but there is a dude inside the monster, implying that the dude turns into the cool monster himself.
So I read the whole damn book. There are mummies in it, and zombies, and dudes with their eyes and mouths sewn shut. There are guys in hats with guns and lanterns. Pretty sure there are no police running around on trains, no note that says "THE GAME'S AFOOT," and--most importantly--no fucking monster like that at all.
I maintain that this is false advertising, designed to get me to keep reading this shitty novel in hopes that said monster would arrive and rip the shit out of everybody.
And rest assured, this novel is pretty shitty. It is not only ponderous but ridiculous. I'm not sure what Frost was trying to accomplish, but he does not have the skill to pull it off.
Okay, so Arthur Conan Doyle is just chilling in his rooms, having exposition spun about him. LOTS of exposition. Then a mysterious note arrives and Doyle goes to seance where he observes a woman being murdered and is nearly murdered himself. Doyle is rescued by a man who gives a false name.
Much mysterious shit and murder and being chased by mysterious somethings later, Doyle meets up again with his mysterious friend, who works for the Queen and is known as Jack Sparks. Mister Sparks is after the people who have been trying to kill Doyle. It seems a story Doyle sent off for publication mirrors their actual plans, and the group of nasties think he is onto them.
Sparks and Doyle have a few more harrowing adventures and we learn that the main guy in charge of all of this is a man pretty much Sparks' equal, but evil. This nemesis's origin story is like every evil thing before the holocaust, and of course the two men are brothers.
Okay, and if that isn't enough, later on they meet up with Bram Stoker.
Oh, and the fucking epilogue pisses me right off.
